Things that I haven’t done for a year and probably won’t ever do again…

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As Connie comes up to 1 years old (Yes, ONE WHOLE YEAR- where did that go?!) it’s got me thinking how my life has changed in this last year, which got me to thinking about all the things I haven’t done and probably won’t do ever again…

1. Lie around on the sofa or in bed all day dying of a hangover.

Or as I used to call it, Sunday. These days are long gone. Even if I did ever have a hangover there would be no lounging about to cure it! 

2. Spontaneously go out. 

This I feel ill never do again until all my children have flown the nest and, actually, it’s one of the only things I miss from pre-Connie life- simple spontaneity! 

I can’t go anywhere or do anything without packing the-whole-world or forward planning that someone can watch Connie.

3. Read a story about a sick child/dying child/tragedy involving a child. 

I just can’t do it. Can’t even open the article. It opens a world of possible heartbreak and at least a week of nightmares.

4. Get stark bollock drunk.

Now there have been occasions in the last year where I have been child free and therefore free to let my hair down, and I’m not saying I haven’t been tipsy- I have and after almost 2 years of sobriety it was quite lovely- but proper old school drunk? Nope. 

Some memorable events include a wedding, birthday, leaving do and work do and yes, I drank and yes I had fun but for some bizarre reason I don’t seem to have reached that stage that I would have, after consuming the same amount of alcohol before. It’s like there’s this weird switch that stops the alcohol penetrating past a point. I’m not going to lie, I hope it sticks round. I definitely do NOT miss the next day “cringing at flashbacks” horror moments I used to experience! And, of course, it’s not like I can nurse a hangover the traditional way (see point 1!)

5. Lie in or even sleep a whole night undisturbed.

Now I’m super lucky, I have a sleeper, but apparently after having a child your brain simply doesn’t care that your baby is sound asleep and therefore you can sleep; it would much rather have you lying awake for hours on end, for reasons unknown, and play EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT AND WORRY EVER through your mind over and over and over until finally allowing you 45 minutes of stress-induced nightmarishly-hot sleep, before your lovely baby wakes bright and breezy wanting to play… Fun. 

And even when I’m child free, the illusive lie in still escapes me. Me and hubby went for a meal a few months ago and stayed in a gorgeous hotel for the night. The bed was lush. It was like a perfect cloud, the finest cotton and the cosiest mattress ever had had a three way and produced THE BEST BED IN THE UNIVERSE. I actually rolled over twice and still didn’t find hubby who was somewhere across the continent on the other side of the bed at the time. That night I lay on Gods own pillows, lost in Egyptian cotton and started peacefully zoning out. My last thought was that my first thought upon waking would be what an amazing nights sleep I had, and with that I drifted off to sleep…. And awoke abruptly at 5.25am, as wide awake as I would have been if someone had yelled in my ear.

Why, oh why? Damn you mummy brain!

6. Gone to sleep for the night with make up on.

This may be as a result of point 4, which was the main cause of sleeping with a face full, however, I HAVE most definitely spent whole days- possibly even weeks- without even putting make up on. 

7. Arrive late.

Ugh, the mere thought of being late now upsets me hugely. Pre-baby I could pretty much be counted on to be late, now, I’m usually early! 

I also can’t stand it when other people are late. If I can arrive on time looking presentable after taking care of a baby and possibly bringing baby plus plethora of baby goods along too, why can’t you? 

8. Get sick.

You can’t be sick when you have a baby that relies on you. Period. 

9. Lie in the garden with a book sunbathing

Sun+Baby=Constant Burn Worry. Plus my daughter has developed a delightful habit whereby as soon as I sit down she starts to moan. I am not allowed to sit in her presence unless it’s on the floor next to her playing. 

10. Stop worrying.

Everything is a potential danger to your precious bundle of joy. 

Towels- suffocation hazard.

Small object- choke hazard.

Book case- crushing hazard.

Cup of tea- burn hazard. 

Cleaning materials- chemical hazard.

Soft play centre- germ hazard.

Ok so that last one is a bit over the top but you get the general idea! 

11. Stop smiling.

Every day is filled with love, smiles and laughter… And the occasional temper tantrum but mostly, it’s all good! 

12. Leave the house without a bag full of baby goods.

Sippy cup, bottles, bibs, rattles, teething granules, nappies, wipes, nappy cream, spare onesie, emergency dummy and in the last 6 months, snacks. 

It’s even worse if your going somewhere overnight, travel cot, sheet, dolly, piglet, white noise machine, sleeping bag, many many bath items, bed time onesie, possibly story book, tooth brush, tooth paste, hairbrush, outfit for next morning which can be adapted to suit weather, possibly a giant bag of toys… The list goes on…

I wonder what I’ll be adding to this list in another years time?! 🙂 

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