Disclaimer: reading this may change your opinion of me. Sorry, not sorry.
2. Lee Evans.
He sweats, he darts around the stage, he talks fast, he makes silly noises and funny faces. He gives me a headache and makes me want to take want to take a Valium tablet. He’s a clown without makeup. And clowns are NOT funny.
“It’s not a meal without meat” bearing this wonderfully insightful information in mind, I should be a lot thinner having not eaten a “meal” in 16 years… People who believe this lack any imagination or skill with cooking. Boring, boring, boring.
4. Breaking Bad.
I’m usually one of the first to jump on the TV series phenomenon band wagon but I was late to the party with this one. Give me Lost, give me Prison Break, my god give me GOT any day of the week but Breaking Bad?… I plodded through to series 3 episode 2 before finally admitting the truth to myself. It’s not for me. I found it boring, slow paced and about as gripping as episode of In The Night Garden. There’s 990 minutes of my life I won’t see again
6. Gordon Ramsay.
What the hell happened to this guy in his childhood which makes him think it’s acceptable to treat people like utter shite. Maybe he has a tiny penis and feels he has to make for it by screaming profanities at others? Either way, I’d rather not watch any programme which involves seeing his angry forehead get angrier.
8. Ricky Gervais.
Another ego maniac. I like what he’s doing with using his fame to spread messages about animal protection/conservation but that’s one of the only positive things I can say about him. The Office was funny for 5 minutes 15 years ago and his stand ups can barely work up a light chuckle.
9. The Frozen Song.
Disgusting toilets, crowds, it costs a fortune for a ticket and the person you go to see is a mere dot in the distance. I don’t get it. The last festival I went to I spent the entire performance crammed into some dudes armpit. *shudder* I’d rather watch a performance at home, from the comfort of my sofa, knowing if I want to use the bathroom I can do so without squatting and gagging, and without a sweaty armpit in sight.
12. Christian Ronaldo.
I’m not slating his footy skills here, I’m talking from the perspective of looks. I don’t understand why he inspires such adoration from women? He’s greasy. He’s smarmy. He has a *gasp* weird face. I’m baffled.
13. Mr Tumble.
14. Designer clothes/accessories.
15. New Years Eve.
The biggest anti climax of the year that costs triple the standard amount because people seem to think that it merits a ridiculous price rise. I don’t get it? Why do people think you need to be doing something *cool* to see the new year in? It’s just another day.
16. John Lewis.
17. Juice diets.
18. The Next sale.
19. *this ones going to sting* Child birth.
“I wax my hair off because it takes longer to grow back, but then I have to let it grow back to at least a cm in length before I can get it waxed again” save yourself time and money, save your partner the horror stubbly legs and bush and buy a frigging razor.