Because secretly we’re all a bit shit sometimes…
NB: Some of these may or may not be me
1. Once I was too tired to bath my child, so I wiped her down with a pack of baby wipes and sprayed perfume in her hair.
2. I have, in an act of desperation, used the palm of my hand to wipe dribble and snot from my child’s face before entering play group.
3. I have given my child cereal for tea. A lot.
4. My child thinks that parks shut when it rains.
5. I hate other people’s children…
6. My child believes there is a man at the super market who comes and arrests naughty children who aren’t sitting nicely in the trolley.
7. When my child was around 18 months old, if I was hungover we would play the “Where’s the ?” game, which would literally entail me sat on the sofa under a blanket, asking her to find and bring me as many items as I could think of. We would then play the “Put the *** back” game, which would be her putting the various objects she had brought me back in the right place. If she got them all right she got a piece of my hangover chocolate.
8. I have dropped my mobile on my child’s head while breast feeding. Twice.
9. The first time I took my child shopping sat in the upright chair, I looked down and caught her licking the hand bar.
10. I once caught my kid eating biscuits from the dog bowl